Stopping to Smell the Coffee Beans


Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Long Distance Relationship Goodnight Stories

Wow, i've been in treading "long distance-ville" for ten months now. I still can't believe it! I'm slightly proud, a tad annoyed but mostly content with this new lifestyle of ours. We have grown leaps and bounds since September and right now I can honestly say we are better for it.

However, there are certainly hard days, like yesterday.

I called Nick just to say "I hate being long distance" and hung-up, like a ruthless bitch. {don't judge til you've walked these shoes honey} But, then there are days that make me realize Nick and I have been given this LD relationship as a gift, not a punishment. (remind me of this statement when I feel sick, am dressed up with nothing to do on a Saturday night or when I'm the 3rd, 5th or 7th wheel at dinner parties.)

It forces you to be uberduber creative, patient and doting. Although I feel in LDR you have to work harder at this, it's just as important to do so in any relationship. I say if you are currently in a relationship, of any kind, challenge yourself to be more creat, patient and ... doting. I know it's not as easy as it sounds; especially when you feel like your partner doesn't deserve this extra attention. And you know what, they probably don't -- but your kindness will rub off on them. Scouts honor. For instance, after a rude argument we had Nick sent me a text message the very next day with super cheerful message like "You are so gorgeous! Today is going to be an AMAZING day! Have a Terrific Tuesday!"

At first I thought he either just listened to Rev Run or put crack in his granola. But then he started to do it everyday and soon enough I was looking forward to his text message. I'm glad Nick took the first step after our argument to reach out and express positivity. Nowadays, I text him back with silly responses and violla, any late-night tifts are put to rest by morning.

With that, Nick and I have come up with a few of other long-distance traditions that help tighten our bond and make the distance feel positive and less scary.

1. tell each other bedtime stories. Sound too awkward? Just re-tell a story you've heard before. I told Nick the plot line of "Hush" (Lifetime TV) featuring Tori Spelling. (freaked him out big time) Hilarious. My motto is: If you can't act silly in front of your boyfriend/girlfriend then you shouldn't be spending miles, minutes or dollars on them. You gotta be silly-wills or it's time to have "the talk".

2. Ask how their day was...and mean it. Sometimes when Nick and I finally get to talk I open with "Hey babe, how are you.." and before he can even answer I start to ramble on-and-on about where my life is that exact second. No one wants to hear "I have a headache" "I have nothing to wear" or "I'm about to start my period" within the first :30 seconds of conversation. Trust me.

3. pray out loud together. Don't pray? Well, I recommend you do. You can start by sharing your wishes, fears and hopes to eachother. God, the Universe, Allah & Chuck Norris are listening.... I promise.


Katie said...

I did long distance off and on for two years with my husband. It was so hard...but I feel like we developed so many skills as a couple that made us stronger and that we wouldn't have gotten otherwise. Like really listening to each other, since sometimes, the other person's voice is all we had.

It's tough, but hang in there. It's so sweet when it's over.

... said...

Aww, thanks for that sweet message Katie. I am so happy it worked out for you and the hubby -- your wedding photos are adorable. :)

Legs said...

Girlfriend, I know. But let me tell you a little secret: all of my friends (including me and Ian) that are in amazing, solid, phenomenal, loving relationships, have all conquered being long distance. It may suck at the time, but Ian and I look back on our time apart as the best thing that could have ever happened for our relationship and we are so much better together because of it! Your time will come to be together and when it does you will be thankful for everything you've been through. :D I'm so happy that you guys are sticking it out. Just reading your blog makes me happy that you two found each other. :D You're as big of goofs as me and Ian!! I love it!! :D